i feels like,
ive found my heart.

<---See!



here's a little something from my good friend Fred-

"O man, take care!
What does the deep midnight declare?
"I was asleep—
From a deep dream I woke and swear:—
The world is deep,
Deeper than day had been aware.
Deep is its woe—
Joy—deeper yet than agony:
Woe implores: Go!
But all joy wants eternity—
Wants deep, wants deep eternity."

hello.

havent seen you guys in awhile
i mean, ive stopped by now and then
but not as much as i use to, no no no.

I have been pretty good
living a bums lifestyle to be exact.
no job, no school, no worries. traveling from here and there
ill be heading to Altoona PA around christmas
and come january ill be in Oregon. I dont know for how long but its not my grave.
Been partying excessively for the past...well, year.
2008 is a blur, memories are scattered like puzzle shards
or shiny rain. it has been a wild time and i wouldnt change anything, not even for everything...if that makes sense.
ummmm inspiration has been hard to find
whenever something is conjured up it feels recycled
same old shit. and most of my ideas are hard to put down once a pen is in my possession. its like magic, the way i lose thought.

Winter has come back
so that means i await seasonal depression ahahah
it always happens in winter, so its nothing new.
maybe my sad state can manifest something fresh, or philosophically entertaining. i know when im on that train west
and i am hopped up on uppers and downers and hallucy's ill be stuffing my eyes with so many books i better write something.

um
i am Belial
not the person, more so the definition
and i love it.

you look so lucid
like a canopy
hanging over
my bed of dreams;
spotless no more.
as if you were a chandelier
swaying in the stars,
& polished so immaculate on my skin.

notice my eyes, wide like oceans
staring off into pain
further now, past memory
and nestled in my hallow brain.

now my blood
shoots to the air
when you pause in flail,
like a spell on my empirical eyes
and all my satire stares.

yet you were there
decorated in a plethora of shades,
a tongue of fire,
a Venus incarnated
by the needles sting.

but your interest with fear might curve for prudence
despite your vicious vomiting
being materialized
and reduced to tears.

Girls

Play

Sing

Fall.
-----

i was listening to the velvet underground and got some... idea's
written a few months ago.
be kind.

Got this from Tuisihmi

RULES:
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in italics after the song name.

...i dont know how to put things in Italics, sorry.

1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?
"lies" - The Black Keys
i probably would lie.

2. How would you describe yourself?
"A crater to cough in" - Circle Takes The Square
sounds about correct

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
"My Generation" - The Who
...i prefer older gals

4. How do you feel today?
"Blowin' in the wind" - Bob Dylan
so fitting

5. What is your life's purpose?
"This Charming Man" - The Smiths
i dont believe people when they say I'm charming. Guess i do now?

6. What is your motto?
"Insane and Speechless" - Moros Eros
my life incarnate

7. What do your friends think of you?
"Crazy little thing called love" - Queen
i suppose.

8. What do you think of your parents?
"Thats the way" - Led Zeppelin
Truth, and that sucks.

9. What do you think about very often?
"The end has no end" - The Strokes
all of my answers have been dead on. I'm quite lucky

10. What is 2 + 2?
"Like a prayer" - Madonna
oh god.

11. What do you think of your best friend?
"Inception of the Flagitious" - Element
my love for him is loud and chaotic.

12. What do you think of the person you like?
"Here's to the Atom Bomb (Alt) - The Smashing Pumpkins
pretty.

13. What is your life story?
"Drug your love" - Superjoint Ritual
hell yes, the two necessities i need.

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Big Bopper Anthems" - Maps & Atlases
...

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
"No Sleeves" - Les Savy Fav
i have no witty comment for this one.
sorry to disappoint.

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
"Version" - Incubus
i will be super drunk when this song comes on.

17. What will they play at your funeral?
"The Devil Loves You" - (good) A.F.I
i planned on seeing him, anyways!

18. What is your hobby/interest?
"Heart in the hand of the matter" - And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead
..
warning shoplifters, we do not prosecute shoplifters, our policy is to execute them.

19. What is your biggest fear?
"Robot Chant" - Mowgai
secrets out.

20. What is your biggest secret?
"Seasons in the Sun" - Terry Jacks
Not telling you what that means.

21. What do you think of your friends?
"Holidays in the sun" - The Sex Pistols.
that answer is the tits

22. What will you post this as?
"Everybody's Down" - No Age
Heh! Great song, alright title

my glass is running low
----------------------------------------

well well sitting in hell
or so it seems. Tearing myself away at the seams
the boredom diverts me from my dreams.
I’ve been wondering in my head
for countless hours on end
sleepless on my bed waiting for morning to begin, again and again.
I have been sitting in front of this monitor in an awkward fashion
one leg falling into a needlelike comatose
My glass of water, depleting, trying to survive my endless struggle
A nocturnal haven for the thinker
in front of this resplendent screen.
I waste thru days and endure the night
wishing for the outside world, to chill and be a little extraverted.
I observe my straying away from any family encounters
With what little jiminy cricket I have left.
Irony. No type of metal about it, just the guilt of another wasted day
In the everyday life of me.

--------------------
fuck you and the bitch you fell from.
sorry.