im getting old,
but feeling better.
here is something i wrote awhile back.

its just a bottle of whiskey
untouched inbetween them
wading with a lonesome
so warm

and the burn that goes down
like the sun in a ghost town
is overcome by the wiskey
exhale

day falls and the fire still burns
crackling and dancing
to a rhythm ive never heard
before.
-

yeah it feels unfinished
and feel like a song but whatever.
take care.

I had an amazing time
on this little ol' rock called Madeline Island
in lake superior for the last two weeks.
Nothing but drinking, spanging *spare changing* people
For some more booze, sleeping outside in sleeping bags
Smoked a bunch, cliff jumped, found sanctuary and food in a 24 hour opened church
And all we had to do was wash the dishes afterword’s.
You know, show some fucking respect and all.
Met so many new and interesting people,
OPEN CONTAINER LAW!
Got a disorderly for having too much of a good time,
Partied at Moe’s Place-
all in all an astounding time.

Then
I come home to the news of my grandmother passing.
Instant depression.
This fucking sucks and i cant understand it.
i no longer have grandparents, with the death of my grammy
Charlotte Quesenberry.

Rest In Peace

i havent been traveling in so long
i feel like im stuck in this joy-forsaken town.
im so tired
of everything and everyone, its a good feeling
to just actually say what i mean.
vent, if you will.
honesty is a failing virtue, now,
and it seems useless and "god-forbid"
but when givin', offensive and uncalled for.
i tried selflessness for a long time
that ended when my heart exploded.
also, my friends sicken me
how can you talk shit about each other
like attention whores scourging with words
behind the backs of everyone,
and everyone is too fucking dumb to realize
...or care, im sure.
its not natural to assume you annoy your friends, is it?
or assume you're wanted in only small amounts of time.
I wish i had an income, a job *i cant believe im saying this*
or just a distraction from myself, really.
have you ever felt so alone, yet you are not?
i have friends, family and the great outdoors to my expense
but my mind is in the void, jumped ship, desolated in abandonment.
i feel a bit like a leech
no, rather a very adaptable chameleon
confused in its environment.
my spirit has been in a funk and
this brings me even more displeasure/confusion/anger..
possibly though, bitterness and apathy are advent
in(my)life.

i wanna be like a ghost
exposed in the light,
discordant in the agreement of being.
a fugitive of the mortal law,
adrift purposeless with a fading smile.

oh wait,
thats happening.

"Love is something so divine,
description would but make it less;
tis what i feel, but cant define,
tis what i know, but cant express."

this is hanging somehwere in my house
its my grandmothers
says its real old.

i dont know if its by Porteus
*whoever the fuck that it*
but its old fashioned
and real cute.

being in love...

i feels like,
ive found my heart.

<---See!



here's a little something from my good friend Fred-

"O man, take care!
What does the deep midnight declare?
"I was asleep—
From a deep dream I woke and swear:—
The world is deep,
Deeper than day had been aware.
Deep is its woe—
Joy—deeper yet than agony:
Woe implores: Go!
But all joy wants eternity—
Wants deep, wants deep eternity."